Dieting

Now, this is an ugly topic, I know. It has really been bothering me lately. I feel better writing it down and sharing, so here it goes.....
My weight problem started in junior high when I was less then 5 feet tall and weighed about 130 pounds. It was a pre-puberty thing and it came off, but it did worry my Mom. That was the earliest memory of being chubby and having a Mom who took special concern with it.
So I was fine through high school, participating in sports and enjoying physical activity. When I decided to become a police officer, I really buckled down and got in really good shape. It was a combination of that and dealing with a bad relationship/break up. At one point my Mom asked my sister if I had a "special" job due to the amount of work I was putting into my appearance. Me, a stripper? I am far too vain! I still think that is funny!
When I started the academy I weighed 120 pounds and was actually pretty weak. I would get tired in church holding a hymnal for three minutes.
During academy, I gained 15 pounds! How that happens, I don't know. I was averaging close to 5 miles, 200 push-ups (man style), 300 sit-ups and crunches and countless hours of arm circles in a single day! Okay, so I do know how one gains that weight. I went out 2 or 3 times a week and ate high calorie food and a lot of beer! But, I was in good shape and was not concerned with my figure. In fact, I look back at picutres of myself and say "bitch" under my breath. Most of us only do that to others!
All through my career, I was the same. I could eat like a pig and remain the same weight. I was able to loose a little before my wedding. But on the honeymoon, I gained 10 pounds. I ate, like, 2 dinners every night. Gotta love cruises!
Then a year later, my husband and I decide to get pregnant. That didn't take long and I wasted no time eatting like a starving child from a third world country. I had twice as much food as I ever had before. Two of everything. At night, I ate a pint of Ben and Jerry's, by myself! I would have slapped my husband if he got too close. I don't know how I did it, financially. I was a cow. I gained 65 pounds. A baby is 7!! Oh, but I was told, eat whatever you want now, you will loose it when you beastfeed. That is the biggest crock of shit I have ever heard. I gained even more weight when I nursed!
So anyway, I lost the weight, not all of it, but some, and found that baby two was on his way. Surprise!! So this time I knew that I had to watch it. After I was done being used aa a human bunny, I got on the diet band wagon again.
This time I used medication. Yes, Phentermine. It was legal speed and I was awake like a tweeker for atleast 20 hours a day. I lost the weight and got off the diet. I gained the weight back in two months.
So then I hear about Lipo Dissolve, the miracle sent from God, with relatively no pain. People, I gave birth to a 9 pound baby with no pain meds and this stinking acidic melt-your-fat-away diet, was so much more painful it was ridiculous. I was in bed for three days and couldn't move. I looked like a swarm of wild bees had attacked me. I cried it hurt so bad and I have a very high tolerance for pain. I was told I would need four sessions of that. I'll call you, don't call me!! Hell no!!
The latest and most effective diet has been Weight Watchers, which, in retrospect is AA for fat people. I am held accountable for my weight by strangers, who are encouraging and upbeat. They give you free samples at meetings and keep you on track. Now I have fallen alittle, since I enjoy eatting and believe that I should be able to eat as much as my husband, but that's okay. I really look forward to that "free" day. Now hopefully I can stick with this diet and change my life.