Whitest Girl in the World

I am the whitest person in the universe. I am so white in fact, that I think I may even be a little purple.
There is a picture from when I was little that shows my whiteness the best. My parents, both German and my sister, Native American and me, Italian (but white as a cloud) sitting on the couch in the middle of summer. Everyone sporting a beautiful tan, but me. I am a white spot, hair included, with red cheeks.
So I have lived with my "graveyard tan" for so many years, I don't even notice it anymore, unless it is summer. Then I really notice. Especially since my husband is Mexican and my kids have inherited that nice olive skin from David. All summer they run around without sunscreen, becoming more and more tanned. I turn red and peel within a day.
For many years I visited the wonderful place known as a tanning bed. I would lay there for 15-20 minutes a day for about 6 months a year. I loved the warmth of the lights beating on my body, while a cool fan blew the horrible smell away from my nose. The loud fans interfering with my headphones, but not enough to stop going. I would turn from purple to orange, which matched better with my highly lightened (bleached) hair and summer clothing.
David has put a stop to these visits, pointing out the dangers. You know what I say to the dangers....WHATEVER. I am glowing here!! I live in California. No one who lives in California should be this color!
My best friend is white also. She has natural platinum hair and blue eyes. During the summer I was feeling a little cocky and told her that I was darker than she was, making a big deal about it. She calmly walked over to me, put her arm next to mine and guess what. She was darker than me. Really?
Since I have been banned from the booth, I have since adopted the idea of spray tanning. Although the orange is something from Jersey Shore and looks a little ridiculous for the first day, it works fairly well. I hate the fact that it only lasts a week or so, but that is the options are few and I am desperate.
So I have to choose carefully.....or is there really a choice at all?